Here’s the transcript of an online chat that Dave Blood and Joe did 11 years ago. Joe was in Philly and Dave was actually in Indiana. I’ve had this saved in a word document for a long time!
The Dead Milkmen logged on from Philly and Wisconsin. They talked about the breakup of the band and their obsession with green haired women. Read on. . .
(Pico) Hey, whuzzup?
Dave Blood – Not much …
(Pico) Four DM fans in one room … incredible. :)
(Pico) Where’s Rodney? Busy?
(richm) I just saw Rodney’s band in Philly. His girlfriend was playing fiddle. She bartends at this crazy Country & Western place on the South side.
Dave Blood – Rodney makes breather calls to my mom.
(Moose) That’s gross!
(Pico) Hey, I make breather calls to my mom too …
Dave Blood – Who mops up afterwards?
(Pico) The barmaid.
Dave Blood – Ouch!
(Davanita) I only know one other person that likes the DM … and that was a fluke.
Dave Blood – I know 2.
(Davanita) I wanted to see a DM show about 3 years ago here, but it was 18 and over only, and my friend and I called and begged, but the people said no. Geez, all I wanted to do was see a DM show..
(Moose) Dave, where are you logging on from?
Dave Blood – I go to school at Indiana University.
(Pico) What’s your major?
Dave Blood – Russian and East European Studies.
(Pico) Cool, I went to Russia twice. It was not a fun experience though.
(DKush) Yeah, right. Say something Slavic big shot.
(Shnauser) Dos vedanya.
(Pico) Um … niet!
(Moose) Spreken zee douche.
(Pico) MS-DOS vedanya.
Dave Blood – I am actually specializing in Yugoslavia.
(Davanita) In Yugoslavia? Like specializing in what in Yugoslavia?
Dave Blood – I am at this time attempting to learn Serbo-Croatian.
(Davanita) Well, you know, it’ll come in handy …
(Pico) Wow, I’m having trouble with Spanish.
Dave Blood – Also I’m trying to get their history, culture, economics …
(DKush) Do you ever feel more intellectual than the rest of the band?
Dave Blood – No.
(Moose) Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
(Pico) Moose: This isn’t gonna be one of those chats, is it?
Dave Blood – Band secret.
(Moose) Dave: What made you decide to ditch the band and go back to school?
Dave Blood – They changed all the locks on the band clubhouse.
(DKush) Dave, what’s the dirt? Are the Milkmen really over?
Dave Blood – Yes.
(Davanita) I’m getting confused …
Dave Blood – I’m not over, although the band no longer performs together.
(LilElmo) Ah, Dave: you make me cry! :(
(DKush) Dave, I think you should do the rest of this chat in Czech.
Dave Blood – Ne razumem.
(DKush) Did you make a new video?
(TwoShoes) My friend in Canada has seen the new video a few times.
(Moose) What song is it for?
Dave Blood – Yes, we shot a video for “Peter Bazooka.” It is being shown here in Bloomington on cable, local access TV.
(DKush) How do you feel about Punk Rock Girl now that it’s been called a classic in DIY music video?
Dave Blood – It was fun to make it, and fun to hang out with Adam, our director.
(Pico) Hey Dave, does your family like your music?
Dave Blood – My mom loves our stuff. Her favorite song is “Right Wing Pigeons.” It was always in the set when she came out see us play. My brother Kurt is a big fan, and my brother Joe pretends not to like our stuff.
(Pico) What’s your real full name Dave?
Dave Blood – Dejvid Krv: that’s ‘David Blood’ in Serbian.
(Davanita) I sing DM stuff all the time, and no one has any idea what I’m talking about, I love that!
Dave Blood – Davanita, you should be careful …
Joe Jack – Hey everybody. Sorry I’m late, got caught in traffic.
(TwoShoes) Is that Redd Foxx’s face on Dean’s bass drum on the inside cover for “If I Had A Gun?”
Joe Jack – Yes, Redd Foxx is on the kick drum.
(Smooch) Milkmen … tour plans?
Dave Blood – No tour. I have too much school work.
(Davanita) I wish I would have been able to see a show sometime … but alas, you came here, and they wouldn’t let us in.
(DKush) Milkmen: Where’s your favorite place in Philly to get a cheese steak?
Joe Jack – I like Cheesesea.
Dave Blood – Davanita: There are numerous video tapes (bootlegs) of our shows floating around. I have a couple …
(Davanita) Yeah … make copies. :)
Dave Blood – Get a hold of Glenn K through his fine DM WEB Page.
Joe Jack – I’m in a band called Touch Me Zoo — we play shows and stuff. I also work at a video mailing place. Touch Me Zoo is doing good. We have a tape for $5.00.
(Davanita) Can I send a box of 500 pennies?
Joe Jack – Yes, 500 pennies will do.
(Pico) Woah! Where can I get the tape?
Joe Jack – The tape is called Lawn King. They can get the tapes from same as Dead Milkmen, PO Box 58152, Philadelphia, PA, 19102.
(little) Hey men: What kind of cars do you drive?
Joe Jack – I have a Chevette. It’s Bitching.
Dave Blood – I have no car.
(little) Do you want my car? No joke.
Joe Jack – We saw Prince in Minneapolis.
Joe Jack – Back when he was still called Prince.
(krusty) Milkmen: What’s the biggest show ever for you?
Joe Jack – We played a radio sponsored benefit in Phoenix in a Baseball stadium.
(Grimlord) Who wrote Life is Shit?
Dave Blood – The Milkmen.
(Grimlord) It speaks to me :-)
(TwoShoes) Have the Dead Milkmen ever toured outside of North America?
Dave Blood – Yes.
Dave Blood – We have toured Europe two times. That is how I got interested in Yugoslavia.
(krusty) Milkmen: How many times have you been to Canada?
Dave Blood – Lots. Canada is great!
(Grimlord) Do any of you guys read The Illuminatus Trilogy?
Dave Blood – I know a lot about Bob Crane.
(Grimlord) Bob Crane kicks ass. I like to frighten my Mormon friends with Revelation X.
(DKush) Milkmen: What do you think about the Ramones calling it quits the same year as you?
Joe Jack – The Ramones always copied us.
(Smooch) Milkmen: Don’t break up! Who will we have to listen to? Weezer is like a really lame rip off of you guys.
(GlennK) Augh! Weezer is nowhere near as interesting as Dead Milkmen … Weezer sucks!
Dave Blood – I wheeze … I have asthma. Green Day has cool hair. Hair is very important.
(Davanita) Green Day is coming here soon, and all the 12 year old alterna-freaks are so excited.
(TwoShoes) Davanita: call them “Mallternatives” … that really pisses them off!
(Davanita) hahah … that’s a good one …
(spaghetti) Cool — a new moniker!
(TwoShoes) Have I coined a phrase?
(krusty) Green Day played a month or so ago here — $25, as if!
(Pico) $25 bucks! Wow, how punk!
(TwoShoes) I remember paying $2 for a Dead Milkmen show!
Dave Blood – You got ripped! I got in for free!
Joe Jack – $2.00, no wonder we broke up.
Dave Blood – I could use two dollars now.
(Davanita) I would pay at least 3 … :)
Dave Blood – Do I hear four?
(Pico) I’d pay … $25.
(Pico) 20000 and my ears!
(little) My virginity.
(Davanita) So, who wins?
Dave Blood – Does anyone want my virginity?
(Pico) Can you email it to me?
(Davanita) How much?
Dave Blood – One semester’s tuition.
(Davanita) hmm, I pay you or you pay me? Heheh.
Joe Jack – Can we change the subject?
Dave Blood – My Roxette CD is almost over. Damn! I stopped sniffin’ glue when I noticed that my spelling was getting weeerd.. I can’t spell!
(Pico) Would DM be called underground?
Dave Blood – Hard to say …
(spaghetti) Where are the best places to play in NYC?
Dave Blood – Times Square.
(TwoShoes) Is it possible to get ‘Not Richard’ bumper stickers nowadays?
Joe Jack – I don’t think we have anymore “Not Richard” bumper stickers, but we still have a few t-shirts.
(DKush) Milkmen: I know the big story is that you guys started as a joke. Did you eventually feel limited by that stigma?
Joe Jack – Did we really start out as a joke? Or, were we just joking?
(Pico) Are you gonna release a book of your old newsletters?
Joe Jack – We are trying to get Restless to put all the Newzletters on their Web Page but they are being very slow about it.
(Pico) Do you like industrial music Dave?
Dave Blood – I do like industrial.
Dave Blood – Laeather Strip, Metallo, and The Fixer are my favorites.
(krusty) NIN are not industrial.
Dave Blood – NIN could use a better songwriter. Trent is better behind a sound board than a key board.
(Davanita) I made a linoleum block printer in art class with the DM cow on it. I still have it on my wall … I lost blood for that thing …
Dave Blood – Lost blood?
(Davanita) Well, I cut my hand open on the linoleum cutter …
Dave Blood – Sorry.
(Davanita) Say hi to my kitty …
Dave Blood – Meeoww …
(DKush) Milkmen, are you Eagles fans?
Dave Blood – Philadelphia Eagles? Fer sure!
(TwoShoes) I like PE.
Joe Jack – I like The Beastie Boys, Ice T, etc …
(NEWT) Boston bands rule!
Joe Jack – Philly bands rule!
(Smooch) Bye Milkmen … hope you decide to get back together.
(krusty) Milkmen: pleasssssse get back together. You can be the house band at my house!
Joe Jack – Good Night.
Dave Blood – Toodles.
(little) The milkmen have left the building!